Love Days & Hate Days

Today is a love day.

Have you as a woman, ever had those days when everything fits, your hair falls perfectly, your makeup is stunning and you truely look amazing?

Those days I call, Love Days.

Love days are rare. They are probably extinct to some of us. Those days are the once in a blue moon days when you absolutely love the person you are and the way you look. When you look in the mirror and you see the beauty you really are.

But as I said... rare... why?

Because Hate Days rule the world I'm afraid. On these days I see my thick thighs, my crooked eyeliner, my uncontrollable hair and I hate everything about it. I hate the way I walk or how I talk, how I laugh or how I look, I hate my humor or the lack there of sometimes, I hate when others say how beautiful I look when I know I look hideous.

The ten things I hate about myself...!

But then like today, I find myself looking in the mirror and appreciating my eyes or my nose, my cheekbones or my chin, my hair or my chest...

With Valentine's day around the corner, the universal word on everyone's lips is love.

My way of usually celebrating this day, is to make it a Love Day, I try to love the woman I became, my struggles and my truth. I try to love the outside as well as the inside and believe that I am capable of love, even if it came from myself.

I always try to remember this phrase: "You can not love someone else if you do not love yourself."

And while I do struggle each day to see the beauty, I still try.

Because like the poem in the iconic movie read... "I hate that I don't hate you, not even a little bit, not even at all."

Crazy Society

Isn't it crazy the way we convince ourselves that our opinions don't matter, or that the dress wouldn't fit...?

Almost every day I question why I do certain things or if I said the right thing at the right time. I do believe the world has an effect on my opinion of right and wrong... because even when I'm right I think I'm wrong.

Confidence is key I believe...

But how many times have you sat in a meeting and somehow came up with this amazing idea and somewhere between telling your colleagues about this and the idea forming process, you have convinced yourself that it is a bad idea?

Because of some form of pop culture we have convinced ourselves that we need to be right, we need to be smart, we need do what society expects us to do... and we forgot about the greats who struggled before they became great.

Following the same straight line that Chris in the cubical beside you follows, is the first step to staying Chris.

We need to draw a line, an curve it a few times and then at some point the line would automatically curve on its own and it would become an uphill battle but the prize at the top would be worth it.

I do believe women are more straight-liners than men are...because even though society believes a man should HAVE everything, it also shows us women that we should BE everything to a man, a child, a friend, a family member, a career etc.

How can we succeed when we should constantly focus on everyone but ourselves?

We forget to shave and shorten the solace of bathing because little Timmy suddenly couldn't find Mr Snuggle.

Or

We don't care about the perfume we used or our nails being pretty or even that our eyebrows are perfect because honestly who has time to do all that and have a career and be a mom and study part-time?

I read an article once about a plus-size model who claimed that she is happy with the way she looked. She reminded me of Demi Lovato who stuggles everyday with the way she looks even though she is beautiful.

Society.

Both the model and Demi are brave to talk about what they believe to be their true selfs and it inspired me to leave society be...

I paint those nails and I try to do something for myself, because the chapter can wait, the job can wait... everyone can wait five more minutes because I need to feel great for five more hours.